How to get out of depression when you have big debts. The influence of debt on a person. Depression and anxiety

Probably everyone will agree that debts upset and limit us. There are many unpleasant moments in life, but this stress is not like the others. Before taking out another loan, you should think not only about getting new things, but also about how this will affect your health.

If you quarreled with a friend, quit your job in a scandal, or broke your leg, this is temporary stress. The body has the resources to withstand, hold out and live happily on. As for the stress from debt, it shows no sign of ending. Such nervous tension goes on and on, exhausting a person and plunging him into complete hopelessness.

Kelly McGonigal, a psychologist from Stanford University, argues that debt not only spoils your overall tone and mood, but also affects your health. Anxiety and stress are combined with a feeling of hopelessness that arises from the fact that a person cannot change the situation, at least right now. Research confirms the harm to health: people who take out a mortgage are more likely to visit a doctor.

Series about bandits, just to get credits... our people love them. Vasya Oblomov

However, according to FOM sociologists, in 2013, 29% of Russians had outstanding loan. This number has only increased over time. One, two or three debts, a lot of loans. Every person runs the risk of being seduced by new technology, beautiful clothes or other things that they can completely do without.

When the joy of the purchase disappears, harsh everyday life sets in with payments and looming hopelessness. Maybe five simple tips will help you look at finances differently and set priorities so that you don't have to spend on unnecessary things.

1. Put your money where your mouth is. To the right place

David Kruger, a financial coach and former psychiatrist in Houston, Texas, says people often use finances as a means of self-empowerment. “We attach great importance to money and make it synonymous with opportunity, the embodiment of power and proof of our worth in this life,” says Kruger.

Think about what values ​​money has become for you. Just ask yourself these questions:

1. “Why are the most expensive, branded things important for my image?”
2. “Why is money so valuable to me that I sacrifice my health for it?”

Once you have given your honest answers, write them down. This will help you look at money differently, and from correct attitude There is only one step to solving problems.

2. Credit is the illusion of freedom

One of the recent studies showed that most often people take out debt to feel stronger and freer. After spending all your money with , you feel liberated if the limit increases. You experience the same sensations when borrowing the next few thousand. And it doesn’t matter that the amount of your debts has become simply astronomical.

It's a matter of short-term perception. You know you will have to give, but NOW you have more opportunities. Remember that this is just an illusion that will collapse very soon. This understanding will help you spend money borrowed from the bank more rationally or not take out a loan at all.

3. Strengthen your self-control muscles

Roy Baumeistey, a social psychologist at the University of Florida, has studied self-control mechanisms. The results showed that human willpower is limited. In other words, by directing your efforts to one thing, you do not leave resources for another.

But you can turn your attention specifically to finances. Monitor your expenses every day, record receipt totals, and plan more rationally. This will help you focus your self-control muscles on your finances.

4. Don't go shopping when you're feeling down.

Research shows that very often people make expensive purchases on credit to bolster their self-esteem. When self-dissatisfaction arises, drastic measures are required. It’s not so important what the ego suffers from: the boss scolded him, they once again showed on TV “how to live in order to be worthy”...

The very process of purchasing an expensive item creates a feeling of comfort.

But the scientist found a cure for the addiction. When buyers focused on something else, remembered what was of paramount importance to them (family, health, relationships with friends), their race for status goods stopped.

Before purchasing an expensive item, you can stop and evaluate why it is needed: for convenience, beauty and comfort, or to satisfy your bruised ego? In addition, the purchase will not raise self-esteem and mood for a long time; on the contrary, it will only leave new debts.

5. Beware of the “What the hell?!” effect

This effect was discovered by researchers from the University of Toronto (Canada). Initially it concerned diets. It turned out that people on a diet tend to break down at the slightest feeling of guilt from not following the diet.

That is, a person eats a little more, begins to judge himself and says: “What the hell?!” I already ruined everything.” After this, he absorbs even more food. This law applies not only to diets, but also to any activity that requires the manifestation of willpower. For example, when a person quits smoking, quits drinking alcohol, or wants to stop spending money on unnecessary expensive things.

Stress comes from feelings of guilt. A person needs to calm down, and he will do this in the usual way (as a rule, with the help of what he really wants to quit).

This works great with debt. A person is in debt and has stress, which can be relieved with a new loan. The illusion of freedom and joy from the purchase, short-term comfort and again stress. A vicious circle that can only be broken by assessing your emotions. Reflect next time you go to take out a loan. This will help you cope with guilt and stress.

Hi all. I am 26 years old. I have never done anything bad to anyone. I have always tried to help the weak. All I wanted from life was peace, prosperity and comfort. All this is real. But I made a lot of mistakes and fate gave me quite a few more problems.
Just a year ago I was working, had a stable income, and had a girlfriend. There was a used car on credit. I had enough money to pay the loan and live normally. All was good. And then everything went sharply the other way around. I fell ill with a disease that in ordinary public hospitals they will not cure, they will only pretend that they are treating me and torment me. I started going to a private clinic for treatment. I didn’t say anything to any of my relatives. I didn't tell anyone at all. One week of treatment cost approximately 8 thousand rubles. I underwent treatment for three months. I borrowed money for this business from the bank. To put it bluntly, there were no results. But big ones appeared financial difficulties. And I crashed the car, I had to sell it for pennies.
My illness also has such properties as constant weakness, drowsiness, depression. Then I lost my job and was left with 2 loans without work. And the disease is being treated, but it cannot be delayed. But that was a year ago. I haven't seen a doctor for a year. No cash. No job. There are loans that I haven’t paid for half a year, for which collectors are already looking for me and threatening me. I am constantly weak, depressed, and have given up on everything. At first I was looking for a job, but I couldn’t find anything normal. It bothers me that I won’t even be able to pay the interest on the overdue loan, even with an average salary. Not to mention the fact that you need to live on something and start getting treatment.
I live far from my parents. I tell them that everything is fine with me. They do not live richly and I am not going to worry them either, they are not young. I do not know what to do. You say, find at least some kind of job and slowly start paying and getting treatment. Or get treatment in a state hospital. I'm very depressed from all this. I have severe depression and weakness. I do not live by registration, but in another city. In state hospitals there is no equipment or specialists to treat me, and the medicines are not cheap. My debts are about 500 thousand plus penalties. The treatment will cost about 150,000. In my situation, I have nowhere to get that kind of money. I'm in debt, sick, lonely. It’s all my fault, but I don’t know what to do. I also understand that advice won’t help here, but I’m tired of keeping it all to myself. Thank you and forgive me for all this.
Support the site:

Anton Sergeevich, age: 26 / 03/08/2015

Responses:

Anton Sergeevich, good afternoon. I sympathize with you: - (unfortunately, you didn’t write what kind of illness you have, maybe someone would have something to advise you. As for the current situation, I think that telling your family everything is simply necessary, you now need not only financial help, but also moral help, and who else but your loved ones can support? As for loans, there are many ways to reduce payments, go to the forum, there are many topics and a lot of advice on this problem, people have not gotten out of such debts!!! hands, you can still fix it!!!

spring, age: 36 / 03/08/2015

Hello Anton. I am younger than you, however, I have a similar situation and I understand you in some ways, namely a very serious illness that provokes depression and drowsiness. I’m studying at the university in a specialty that I don’t like at all, and here this infection is also a big hindrance. And I've never had a girlfriend before. I’m not complaining to you, I want to explain to you that I live with this and don’t give up. Today I’m going to the stadium to run and hang on the horizontal bar. I try not to sit at home and think about problems. I think that you will be better off at work than sitting at home and thinking about the problem. All in your hands.

Andrey, age: 21 / 03/08/2015

Hello, Anton Sergeevich! Unfortunately, in life there are not only white, but also black stripes, this is the moment in your life that has now arrived... Not everything happens because of our mistakes, there are circumstances greater than man. Therefore, firstly, it seems to me that you should not blame yourself. Calm down, this will do you good. Weigh everything again, just without scolding or blaming yourself for something. It is worth perceiving the situation as it is in this moment, and wasn’t, let’s say, in the past, although not too distant. Yes, of course, it is not easy, but it is not hopeless. There are health problems (thank God, they are being solved), and financial problems. But while you are alive, you can still change. Ignore the threats from debt collectors. They understand perfectly well that by and large, their activities are illegal in our country. If they come to you especially, remind them of this. As well as contacting the police immediately. This has a very strong effect on such organizations. You see, the main thing for the bank is that the debtor does not disappear. If you pay at least something, they will be happy to provide you with a deferment of the debt. They need to see at least some money. The risk of shortfall is inherent in interest rate. Therefore, if you have the opportunity to pay at least something, pay. The collection calls will stop. Secondly, it might be worth going to your parents (or at least other relatives) and telling them about the problems. Agree, it is still much easier for parents to find out about problems than about something more serious. You see, even the most difficult problem is harder to solve alone. And even the most unexpected options may await you at home. You simply won’t think of them on your own. If not, then continue to look for a job. Maybe you'll get lucky? Once you have money, you can continue your treatment. This is how I understand your situation. Don't give up, try to fight. More strength and good luck to you!

Mikhail, age: 27 / 03/11/2015

Money and success: advice from psychologist Olga Yurkovskaya

Text version of the video:

Today I want to answer a question from one of my subscribers about how to survive depression from lack of money.

In their family, as she writes, there is often not enough money for what she considers necessary, and the conversation about a foreign vacation does not even arise. I will immediately recommend that you start solving your money problems with my free mini-course “5 Lessons in Money Thinking”.

And regarding depression, the question is that even the poorest people who live much worse than you - after all, you have a place to live, what to eat, you have the Internet and a computer. At the same time, in less developed countries such luxuries may not exist. But they can do without depression and be quite happy.

How do they achieve this? They refer to what they already have, based on the Arabic word "mashalla". Our closest analogue is thank God. Thank you, Lord, for what you have already given us. By the will of higher powers, I already have something to eat, the children are healthy. There is a lot to be grateful for.

And there is a good exercise for acquiring such thinking. Try every evening to remember and write down those 3 things for which you are grateful today to yourself, the world, and higher powers, if you believe in them.

The second part, in addition to gratitude for what they have, the second part of the happiness and lack of depression in these poor people is the attitude towards the future, which is characterized by the word “inshallah”. That is, higher powers will make sure that tomorrow is even better. Such trust in the future, trust in the world.

In this way, they do not chase endless negativity, how everything is bad, and it will be even worse, as our people like to do, but on the contrary, they are in acceptance, in positivity and in the belief that everything will be better.

Try to rebuild your thinking pattern to this psychological correct pattern. When you are grateful for what you have and take some action, take some steps to make tomorrow better than today. And I'm sure your depression will subside.

And of course, if we are talking about seasonal depression, about clinical manifestations, then at least start taking fish oil and multivitamins. As much light as possible, walks in the air, physical activity. If you don’t have the strength to do all this, then go to a psychotherapist and ask him to prescribe you special medications that treat depression.

The question is that you simply have negative habitual thoughts that can be replaced with psychologically correct thoughts, thanks to which you will stop spending your efforts on improving your life. Or we are talking about a clinical disorder, where, of course, medications are needed. Good luck!

If you think that you are not being very frugal with your finances, or that you are not earning enough, or that you have too much money, or are feeling guilty about a recent sudden expensive purchase, it’s time to improve your financial mood. Together with experts, we have prepared some tips for you that will help you make financial plans with greater optimism and get rid of financial depression.

Method #1: Stop Comparing

Many of us often feel that everyone around us is more firmly on their feet in financially. Of course, it seems to us that everyone has long ago dealt with loans and unreasonable spending. However, remember - a person’s financial situation is always individual. Not only is it unfair to compare your situation with the situation of surrounding colleagues, friends, acquaintances, but it is also destructive. Before comparing yourself with a person who is more successful, in your opinion, ask yourself questions: “Have I seen his accounts?”, “Do I know the size of his income?”, “Do I know his budget?” The answer is likely to be negative. The truth is that we allow ourselves to draw conclusions based on what we see. Yes, you see that your brother/sister/aunt is having a good vacation or recently bought a house, and your friend is dining in nice restaurants, but you don’t know how much debt your sister took out to buy this house, and you don’t know how your friend pays for meals in restaurants.

If you constantly pay attention to how other people live and spend, you think about what you don't have. Focus, first of all, on yourself, on your financial progress. This is what really matters in your life.

“Comparing your wallet with a friend’s wallet means exactly the same as putting a new pair of leather shoes into the washing machine and pressing “start” - one hundred percent stress and trouble,” comments Lidiya Guseltseva, planning consultant family budget. - We rarely look towards those who are doing worse than ourselves. Basically, we compare our down jacket with Svetka’s mink coat or a shabby phone with Lenka’s brand new iPhone, or we sigh for the snow-white Ikea kitchen in the “Provence” style, like Tanka’s... Bottom line: life is pain, husband is a loser, money for nothing not enough, and I am the most unhappy woman on the planet. Each family has its own financial scenario and its own happiness scenario. And the best thing you can do for your well-being is to be satisfied and grateful for what you already have: the apartment you live in, the amount of money you now earn.”

Nobody forbids you to strive for more. And for this a person needs guidelines.

“The amount that the richest people on the planet were able to earn is the criterion by which they should be singled out from among others to study their experience and way of thinking,” recommends Oleg Aavi, founder of the New Life Design project. - Use financial comparison with rich people as an example and motivation to move forward: “They did it - so can I!”, “How much more can I earn?”, etc. Communicate with people who earn more than you, expand this circle, learn from them, adopt experience and apply new knowledge.”

Method number 2. Take your time

Often what drives us into financial depression is the slow growth of our savings. Perhaps save 100 rubles. per week, so that in a year you can save only 5 thousand - it’s too boring for you and not interesting enough. However, do not forget - progress cannot be achieved overnight. Way to financial success may take months. Remember, improving your financial future is a process.

To evaluate your progress, try composing financial statements by comparing what you have (assets) to what you owe (liabilities).

"Rapid improvement financial situation perhaps in pyramids or a lottery, but in both cases the probability is very low,” argues Oleg Aavi. - If you have set a goal to improve your financial indicators and if you put effort into it, the result will definitely come. When it seems that “everything is standing still,” look for what needs to be changed in yourself or in your approach to this issue. If you keep doing it but don't see results, look at it as a “test of strength.” The more difficult the challenge, the higher the reward. Money is a qualitative indicator of your experience and decisions. The higher the quality, the large amounts You are getting. It takes time to develop the right mindset and hone your craft.”

Method number 3. Set clear financial goals

Most of the time, we fail in our relationship with finances due to lack of motivation. So set yourself clear, small short-term financial goals. For example, in the next two months you need to buy a new refrigerator, the purchase of which was postponed due to the purchase of inexplicable small items. And in a year, plan to buy a car and start separate line for this purpose in the list of your savings. Achieving such goals gives a great feeling of success. In addition, their definition gives useful “financial” habits (do not buy impulsively, do not buy useless little things), and also gives a more transparent picture of our true desires (after all, some of them are not so important at this stage of life).

Anton Krasnenkov, director of the department of new products at Visa in Russia, notes that the correct setting of financial goals is 80% of success in competent budget control.

“First of all, here you need to be as honest as possible with yourself - these goals should be feasible and specifically yours, and not imposed from the outside. When setting a financial goal, it is extremely important to determine the time frame by which you would like to achieve it and the so-called purchase price. It is appropriate to mention here time deposits, withdrawal of funds from which will inevitably entail a loss of expected income. This can become a deterrent that will help you not to “break down” in the process of achieving your financial goals. In any case, there is no need to worry, financial goals just look scary. Try to imagine them in the form of small steps necessary to achieve the goal and, probably, you can take the first steps towards achieving it today.”

In addition, they add to Visa, in order for your financial goals to always be effectively achieved, you must follow three important rules: First, notes Anton Krasnenkov, the difference between income and expenses should not be negative, and it is better if at the end of the month you have a small amount left stock of funds. Secondly, the expert continues, expenses for financial purposes should ideally be at least 30% of total expenses. And thirdly, always follow the golden rule that economists came up with - “Pay yourself first”. “This rule means that when you receive income, you need to set aside for the implementation of financial goals (usually 10-30% of income), and only then make the remaining necessary payments. This way, the budget will have less chance of running wild, and you can with confident steps move towards your own financial goals“, concludes the director of the department of new products at Visa in Russia.

Setting and achieving such goals will definitely lead to positive financial progress and a more positive attitude towards your means.

“You will achieve everything you can imagine,” assures Oleg Aavi. - This also applies to financial goals. Find out how much people in the TOP 10 and TOP 5 richest people on the planet earned last year. This real people and real money. Only when setting financial goals, focus not on the amount you want to receive, but on the amount, spending which you will experience joy and pleasure. Let it be your goal."

Instructions

Usually a person has not one debt, but several. These can be loans from family and friends, loans and property pledges. It takes a lot of time and effort to pay in different places. It is necessary not only to give everything on time, but also to remember the deadlines and amounts all the time. This puts a lot of moral pressure. Therefore, it is better to start by reducing the number of debts. A loan to pay off obligations is an opportunity to borrow money from one bank to cover other debts. Of course, not everyone has this opportunity, but it’s worth a try. It is important to find more favorable conditions, pay attention to the interest rate, it is important that it is not higher than for previous loans. The peculiarity of such offers is the opportunity to increase the payment period, but at the same time monthly payment there will be one and not too big.

The most important rule When paying off debts, donate no more than 50% of your earnings. If a person pays more, he loses interest in work and life. He does not have the opportunity to spend anything on himself, does not satisfy the needs of his family, which means he gets more tired and very quickly becomes depressed. In this mood, you don’t have the strength to work, which means your results drop and your money becomes even smaller. If half of the income remains in your hands, this allows you to expand your opportunities a little. Even small little things begin to decorate the world, because before this you had to deny yourself everything. To realize this opportunity, contact the bank for restructuring. Some banks give this opportunity; they increase the payment term, but at the same time monthly payments become smaller.

To give away debts faster, need to work. It is important not to save and give every penny, but to increase the amount of earnings. Look for additional sources of income. Loaders, janitors, and cleaners are always needed. You can do something on the Internet in the evenings or even just post advertisements. It's important to find places. Where can you earn income? But remember that you can pay only 50% for repayment, the rest will remain in your pocket and will stimulate you.

Stop worrying. Many companies use moral pressure to extract debt, but they will not exert any physical pressure on you; this is not legal. Nothing will go further than talk. Of course, according to the agreement, you can be sued and then transfer the case to the bailiffs. But again, this will stop the accrual of interest, and you can pay the court decision in any amount as funds are received. Sometimes it's even the best option in order to reduce the monthly payment.